Perhaps the funniest CompuServe thread I ever participated in was the
one about a rat fishing tournament in East Baltimore.




Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  Donald G. Clarke         74133,77       # 1068678, 1 Reply
  To:  Elyse Zois               74204,1455     Date: 03-Aug-94 16:32
Mountain lions, possums, rats, lobsters. what's next?
I bet these wackos wouldn't like the East Baltimore rat fishing
tournament... I can't wait until next year!



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  Don Babcock              76077,3173     # 1068873, * No Replies *
  To:  Donald G. Clarke         74133,77       Date: 03-Aug-94 18:44
 > East Baltimore rat fishing tournament... I can't wait until next
 > year!
 >
 > You've got my curiosity up - please describe this event - it sounds
like fun!

-dB





Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  Elyse Zois               74204,1455     # 1070011, * No Replies *
  To:  Donald G. Clarke         74133,77       Date: 04-Aug-94 12:53
Donald,


 > Mountain lions, possums, rats, lobsters. what's next?

Well, I heard the ASPCA guy on the TV last night.  He said he would report
someone for pulling the legs off a cockroach.   Totally unbelievable!

I did enjoy eating Larry's Canadian relatives last week. Mmmm!

BTW I heard from Louis on *P.  He seems to have multiple personalities.

                                  Elyse



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  Don Babcock              76077,3173     # 1069948, * No Replies *
  To:  Donald G. Clarke         74133,77       Date: 04-Aug-94 12:06
Thanks for the bit of Americana! Down here in Louisiana we have a muskrat
like creature called the Nutria that is very distructive of vegetation.
The population has exploded of late with reports of the creatures leaving
the swamps and invading some gardens in homes around New Orlean. I had
some friends who recently went on an airboat expedition and thought it
would be fun to plink at them with .22's. It was for about the first five
minutes. There were so many of them that it was devoid of sport and they
just got quickly bored with it. As far as I know they are vegitarian
beasts for the most part so I don't think we can attribute the population
increase to the increased murder rate of that region.

Cheers!


-dB





Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  John  Durbetaki          73501,640      # 1069985, 1 Reply
  To:  Elyse Zois               74204,1455     Date: 04-Aug-94 12:38
So I guess what I do to the field mice is abusive also.  I have a 4 acre
field that I mow with a brush mower (5 foot mover deck, PTO drive, pulled
by the tractor) and every time I do this, I scatter the field mice.  And
when I say scatter, I mean scatter, like in body parts.  Usually when I
mow, about half an hour after I am clear of the field, the coyotes move in
and have lunch



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  Elyse Zois               74204,1455     # 1070189, * No Replies *
  To:  John  Durbetaki          73501,640      Date: 04-Aug-94 15:58
John,

You are looking at it all wrong.  What you are doing is providing a meal
for the hungry coyotes. 

                                       Elyse



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  Donald G. Clarke         74133,77       # 1070814, * No Replies *
  To:  padrig                   72073,3312     Date: 04-Aug-94 22:44
The Rat Fishing tournament and a recent threat to the Yellow Rose Saloon
by the Baltimore chapter of PETA is the focus of this week's issue of
Baltimore Free Pravda, AKA the Baltimore CityPaper. Amazingly, they seemed
to side with the rat-fishers and against the media frenzy whose cameras
scared many of the rats away from the Saloon.



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  W. M. Sullivan           73652,1210     # 1071938, * No Replies *
  To:  Donald G. Clarke         74133,77       Date: 05-Aug-94 20:11
Rat Fishing Tournaments 

I love it!

A pity one cannot extend the same game to the two-legged rats. ;)

Thank you, E. Baltimore (and you reporters). Y'all made my day!

W.M. Sullivan



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  padrig                   72073,3312     # 1073480, * No Replies *
  To:  Donald G. Clarke         74133,77       Date: 06-Aug-94 22:20
Excellant, Rattus est delenda should be the watchword. A snap of the
Victor Rat Crusher to You!
Best Regards



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  Elyse Zois               74204,1455     # 1071200, * No Replies *
  To:  padrig                   72073,3312     Date: 05-Aug-94 08:18
Padrig,

ROFL!!!  Wait, let me catch my breath.  Okay, there are 3 things you can
do:

1.  Claim that the vermin wanted to die and you were only assisting them.
2.  Claim that your parents abused you as a child by reading Three Blind
Mice to you over and over. 3.  Change your identity and move out of town.

 > Be Vigilant, use the Acme Rat Trap and not the Havahart, the snap makes
the
 > heart lighter.

That's the ticket!  Kill the creatures quickly and surely so that they
can't sue you for abuse.

                                              Elyse



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  John  Durbetaki          73501,640      # 1071407, * No Replies *
  To:  Elyse Zois               74204,1455     Date: 05-Aug-94 12:36
>>Three Blind Mice

ROFL, perfect.  What a solution!!!



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  padrig                   72073,3312     # 1073481, * No Replies *
  To:  Elyse Zois               74204,1455     Date: 06-Aug-94 22:20
Elyse,
you are right, the little critter made me Kill Them, right after I was
leaving the "Children of Parents who Dressed up as Mice Support Group" (if
Allister reads this we will have a Monty Python thread quite soon), and
before I bought the plane tickets to visit the Sultan of Brunei they came
after me. It was over in a flash, nothing left but whiskers and scaly
tails. Yes, I did them in, and I am proud of it. No one will convict me, I
will go on National TV to expose the whole sordid thing. But the burning
question is, WHERE IS SOCKS THE CAT?

Where is Socks? What did Socks know, and when did Socks know it? Follow
the money!



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  Elyse Zois               74204,1455     # 1074489, * No Replies *
  To:  padrig                   72073,3312     Date: 07-Aug-94 14:45
Padrig,

 > Where is Socks? What did Socks know, and when did Socks know it? Follow
the
 > money!

I'm still laughing at that one.  Very good!

                                         Elyse



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  Elyse Zois               74204,1455     # 1071930, 1 Reply
  To:  John  Durbetaki          73501,640      Date: 05-Aug-94 20:09
John,

 > Actually, I was helping the
 > disabled (one of the coyotes was a three legger).  Yeah, that's the
 > ticket...


John, you are not being PC.  A three legged coyote is differently abled.


                                      Elyse



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  John  Durbetaki          73501,640      # 1071965, * No Replies *
  To:  Elyse Zois               74204,1455     Date: 05-Aug-94 20:51
>> differently abled

I stand (sit) corrected...



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  Elyse Zois               74204,1455     # 1071931, * No Replies *
  To:  Ken Campbell             74627,3515     Date: 05-Aug-94 20:10
Ken,

 >         Looks like we are in for a 15 day waiting period for
mouse-traps.
 < some days I can hardly stand it...where's my Rush Pill?

A 15 day waiting period?  We'll be lucky if they aren't banned outright.

                                     Elyse



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  W. M. Sullivan           73652,1210     # 1071944, * No Replies *
  To:  Ken Campbell             74627,3515     Date: 05-Aug-94 20:19
Ken,

For your information, there are several varieties of Plague carried by
prairie dogs, as well as a number of other burrowing mammals.  Here in
California, plague is endemic to the area.

Occaissionally, the bug mutates into a human-killing form.  Yes, it's the
same form that did in a third of the known world (est.) some centuries
back.

Normally, it's not a problem, except for those that spend nights camped
out on the ground.  We had a National Guardsman die out in CA, a few years
back.  Of course, he had captured a ground squirrel, and had been carrying
the thing around for awhile.  (The actual bug is carried by the fleas,
which are carried by mammals).

W.M. Sullivan



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  padrig                   72073,3312     # 1073483, 1 Reply
  To:  W. M. Sullivan           73652,1210     Date: 06-Aug-94 22:20
Re Plague,
Your post is correct, one of the largest plague reservoirs in the world is
in the US West, with the Prairie Dogs being the host population, the
other, larger reservoir is in Mongolia.
Regards



Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  Ken Campbell             74627,3515     # 1073626, * No Replies *
  To:  padrig                   72073,3312     Date: 06-Aug-94 23:08
Hi; re: source of plague
        I believe there is a newly revealed hotbed of plague located
roughly halfway between the front and back lawn of the Whitehouse...


Subj:  Rat killer arrested!                    Section: Rush H. Limbaugh
From:  Donald G. Clarke         74133,77       # 0, * No Replies *
  To:  Elyse Zois               74204,1455     Date: 05-Aug-94 11:11
Kill the rats quickly? The agent of demise in rat fishing once you catch
the rat is a baseball bat swing to the head. The rats are then stored in a
special container until the contest is over. The fisher who catches the
biggest rat wins the contest and wins a prize (which I think next year
will be a lobster dinner).
 

AP Online

AP 06/26 14:17 EDT V0091
Copyright 1994. The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.
   BALTIMORE (AP) -- Chuck Ochtech knew exactly where he wanted to cast
his hook.
   "Just down the middle of the alley, near that water," Ochtech said
early Sunday.
   He wasn't talking about easing a carefully tied fly onto the surface
of an inviting pool in a challenging trout stream, or flipping an
artificial frog onto a lily pad.
   Ochtech was one of nearly 40 contestants who cast hooks baited with
bacon smeared with peanut butter, bits of hot dog or raw steak down
garbage-strewn alleys for the Yellow Rose Saloon's second annual rat
fishing contest.
   "Chuck, you catch it honey, and I'll club it," said Ochtech's wife,
Shirley Difatta, a red aluminum baseball bat at the ready. "Look, look,
look there goes one."
   The, uh, anglers paid a $3 entrance fee, covering the cost of
trophies and a donation to charity, to cast their bait down alleys in
the East Baltimore neighborhood. They aimed for puddles that might
attract rodents to drink, or particularly pungent piles of household
garbage.
   "We're sportsmen," said Ochtech, who organized the first tournament
last year after reading about the city's rat problem. "There's a lot of
technique to it."
   No artificial lures, trotlines, bells, whistles or firearms allowed.
No stuffing rats with lead or steel shot "or in any other manner in
which to increase its weight."
   And no chumming. "There's enough stuff in that alley that we don't
have to chum," Ochtech said.
   The contest actually has a purpose.
   "What we're trying to do is bring attention to the problem," Ochtech
said. "There's more rats in Baltimore than there are people."
   Thanks for the help, but no thanks, say city officials.
   "This just does not sound like a responsible way to address a rat
problem," said Zack Germroth, a spokesman for the city's Department of
Housing and Community Development.
   "What this is doing is drawing more rats to the neighborhood than
getting rid of them," Germroth said. The department warned the Yellow
Rose Saloon to stop holding the contest last year, he said.
   "How can you attract something that's already there?" Ochtech
responded.
   As with any fishing contest, there were tales of the one that got
away.
   "It must have been that big, Chuck," said one contestant, Bob Lehew,
holding his fingers about 8 inches apart.