Campus Gripes 1- by Thomas Donald Clarke

    I have a few problems with our Politburo disguised
as the CLAS Student Government Assembly. These putzes,
led by Comrade Stella Bard, have managed to get one of
the Excelsior's writers kicked off the student
government beat (Jon Koza). Why? Most likely because
Stella used to date Jon and now has a personal dispute
with him. Stella, if you have personal problems, don't
use your powers as SG President to make them worse.
Letting SG or its President pick and choose who covers
them is a dangerous precedent.
    And speaking of other Assembly attempts at
censorship, the SG Speaker has now banned tape
recorders from SG meetings. (To the WWW audience
reading this, I am NOT making this up. And some of
these putzes have a future in the NYC Democratic
Party.) To our speaker, Joe Ciraco, what do you have
against tape recorders? What are you trying to hide? If
Congress tried to kick out C-SPAN, there would be a
major outcry from the press. I am the only one still
with the Brooklyn College press that is pointing out this
schmutz. (It was a Kingsman writer, Mohammed Quadir, whose
tape recordings led to Joe's tirades. But Mohammed no
longer works for any of the school newspapers.) 
    As far as I know, Joe hasn't outlawed the use of
camcorders in SG Assembly meetings. Several Excelsior staff
members have discussed this idea with the editor, Cheryl
Felsenburg. But at this time, we can't afford them in the
paper's budget. So until VP Hilary Gold gives us camcorders
to cover the Politburo, the Excelsior will have rely on Aly
Walansky's Gold Sears card. When that happens, CUNY-TV (and
the Internet) will see Stella, Joe, and their PHD and USL
comrades in all their corrupt glory.
    SG recently approved a measure that allocates 10% of the
clubs' food budget on Kosher food. Why should we give
special privileges only to Kosher food consuming students?
Why shouldn't we allocate fish for our Catholic friends?
After all, the Church now says us Catholics have to give up
meat on Fridays year round effective 1998. We should also
give grape juice to our Baptist friends, tofu to our
vegetarian friends, Prozac for my roommates who attend CUNY,
and exotic European brewskis for the over-21 frat members
and sorority sisters.
    In response to the Kingsman, who has become an anti-
Republican, anti-Badillo, and anti-Giuliani tabloid, I
congradulate the mayor on his landslide re-election last
November 4. I did my part to help Giuliani win, despite a
few diehard Messinger sycophants on the Excelsior staff.
(Their initials are MS and GL.) Now that Ruth and Al
Charlatan are unemployed, a certain fax may provide a
solution to their employment problem. A student at Bumfunk
University in Inbreed, Kentucky, says his school needs new
professors for its Liberal Studies program. Ruth and Al,
please accept their offer. Go to Bumfunk in Kentucky. New
York will be better off without you. 

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November 20, 1997/BC Excelsior