Campus Gripes 7 - by Thomas Donald Clarke

Since this is my final Campus Gripes column, I will first address a few anonymous critics of the Excelsior who think all our writers are Type O Negative fans, WWF fanatics, or psychosexual sickoes. Unlike most college newspapers, the Excelsior's articles are the viewpoints of only the writer of the article, not the whole paper's staff. Our Type O Negative fan/promoter is an arts writer who calls herself "Dance the Ghost." Personally, I'm getting sick of all the Type O Negative stuff in our paper and Miss Ghost's constant replaying of her phone interview with Type O Negative lead singer Pete Steele! I know of only three current staff members who are WWF fans. (There was a wrestling fanclub that consisted of former Excelsior writers, but they were called the Brooklyn Horsemen- named after a wrestling team on the WWF's rival, the WCW.) And to those who think everybody on the Excelsior loves the sick ramblings of a frat reject and meth addict who calls himself "Ned," there were a few submissions of his that were deemed too explicit for the creative voices page, and rejected! Now that the preceding was cleared up, let me reiterate that the following views expressed in this Campus Gripes column are not shared by anyone else on the Excelsior staff.

Now on to a favorite target of mine, our so-called United Student Government. I was told during a financial crisis that USG offered an "emergency student loan" program for needy students, so I went to USL's office to investigate. I was told by a smiling Robert Ramos that I didn't qualify because I wasn't a full time student. (I didn't bother telling Ramos that I had an unpaid job at the Excelsior.) I ended up getting a temp job in Queens and missing three days of class so I could earn enough money to cover my $300 rent. I find it peculiar that USG puts so much scrutiny on its loan program while it ignores how SUBO spends its money, but that's a matter better left for the New York Attorney General and the mainstream press to investigate (or for myself to investigate, if the NYPD does hire me).

And there are the latest charges the Kingsman has filed against the Excelsior, namely, that we hide copies of the paper. As the outgoing Circulation Manager, it is my job to make sure the Excelsior is displayed properly. The job of printing both the Excelsior and Kingsman and transporting it to those display locations belongs to LINCO, a Queens printer. Every week, I have to make sure LINCO didn't hide the current week's Excelsiors behind the previous week's issues. It appears LINCO is screwing up the Kingsman the same way they've been screwing up the Excelsior. Obviously the accusers in the Kingsman aren't checking up their facts, or else someone wants the press wars to return.

December 6, 1999/BC Excelsior